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Seven Degrees of Blonde

ONE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!", and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman
wanting to know 'if the coast is clear'."
 

TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde
says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
 

THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"
 

FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: 'W'. "
 

FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
 

SIX
A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was
applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the
trooper exclaimed, "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on
by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked
as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!"
the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere
this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there
was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved
to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there
was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and
forth.
 

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog, and then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call
the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!