On Computers

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

Coffee.exe missing. Insert cup and press any key.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

A computer is only a typewriter on steroids.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

C:\windows c:\windows\go c:\pc\crawl

C:\dos c:\dos\run run\dos\run

-----------The information went data way----------->

The best file compression around: "del *.*" = 100& compression

The definition of an upgrade: take old bugs out, put new ones in.

Breakfast.com halted ... cereal port not responding.

The name is baud..., James Baud.

Access denied - nah nah na nah nah!

C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

Bad command. Bad, bad command. Sit! Stay! Staaay!

Why doesn't Dos ever say "Excellent command or file name!"

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Backups? We don't need no steenking backups.

...File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Definition of Ethernet: something used to catch the Etherbunny.

Headline reads: 'Worldwide Web Broken - Spiderman at large'

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

A computers attention span is as long as its power cord.

Senile.com found ... out of memory ...

All computers wait at the same speed.

Error: keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

DOS tip #17: add device=fingercross.sys to config.sys.

Error reading Fat record: try skinny one? (Y/N)

I hit the Ctrl key but I'm still not in control.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.