Airhead = Reality impaired.

Alive = Temporarily metabolically abled

Alternatively, Fat = Gravitationally challenged

Alternatively, Fat = Horizontally challenged

Bald = Comb free

Bald = Folically challenged

Bisexual = Sexually non-preferential

Blind = Photonically Non-receptive

Body Odour = Nondiscretionary fragrance

Clumsy = Uniquely coordinated

Dead = Metabolically challenged

Dead = Living impaired

Deaf = Visually oriented

Dirty Old Man = Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual

Dishonest = Ethically disoriented

Drug Addict = Chemically challenged

Drunk = Spacially perplexed

Fail = Achieve a deficiency

Fat = Calorifically Enhanced

Fat = Horizontally challenged

Girl = Pre-woman

Handicapped = Differently Abled

Homeless = Optionally residential

Hooker = Sex surrogate

Hooker = Sexual-care provider

Housewife = Domestic technician

Hunter = Animal assassin

Ignorant = Knowledge-based nonpossessor

Insane People = Comprehensibility selective

Insane People = Selectively perceptive

Lazy = Motivationally deficient

Obnoxious = Charismatically impeded

Old People = Gerentologically advanced

Panhandler = Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding

Perverted = Sexually dysfunctional

Poor = Economically deficient

Poor = Economically unprepared

Pregnant = Parasitically oppressed

Sarah Brightman = Alternatively talented

Serial Killer = Person with difficult-to-meet needs

Short = Vertically challenged

Slum = Economic Oppression Zone

Spendthrift = Negative saver

Stoned = Chemically inconvenienced

Ugly = Attractively impaired

Ugly = Cosmetically different

Unemployed = Involuntarily leisured

Vagrant = Nonspecifically destinationed individual

By Sharon Daniels