Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Every morning is dawn of a new error.

A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his/her coffee.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

Mental floss prevents moral decay.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

I'd like to explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Demons are a ghouls best friend.

Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

Dain dramaged.

Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh d'etat.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.